Did you hear about the dimwit who was so dumb he thought Gatorade was welfare for crocodiles?
“Can you read Chinese?” “Yes, but only when it’s printed in English.”
What do you call an alien starship that drips water? A crying saucer.
Teacher: That’s the stupidest boy in the whole school. Mother: That’s my son. Teacher: Oh! I’m so sorry. Mother: You’re sorry?
How do you confuse an idiot? Give him two spades and ask him to take his pick.
A man in a swimming pool was on the very top diving board. He poised, lifted his arms, and was about to dive when the attendant came running up, shouting, “Don’t dive ? there’s no water in that pool!” “That’s all right,” said the man. “I can’t swim!”
Did you hear about the stupid water-polo player?His horse drowned . . .
Fred: Did you hear about the Irish window cleaner who put a sign at the top of his ladder? Harry: What did the sign say? Fred: Stop.
Q: How many idiots who ask stupid questions does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Change it to what?
Housekeeper: Professor, there’s a bill collector at the door. I told him you were out. But he wouldn’t believe me. Professor: No? Then I suppose I’ll have to go and tell him myself.
“Say, your house is burning.””That’s okay. I got enough lumber in the attic to build a new one.”
An Irishman saw a notice outside a police station which read: MAN WANTED FOR ROBBERY. So he went in and applied for the job!
