A guy goes to a girl’s house for the first time, and she shows him into the living room. She excuses herself to go to the kitchen to make them a few drinks, and as he’s standing there alone, he notices a cute little vase on the mantel.He picks it up, and as he’s looking […]
Do you believe in love at first sight or do I have to walk by you again?
Q: Why couldn’t the animals on Noah’s Ark play cards? A: Because Noah was standing on the deck!
Q. What’s te definition of a bachelor pad? A. All the house plants are dead, but there’s something growing in the refrigerator.
Q. What did Snow white say when her photos didn’t come back from the photo store?A. “Some day my prints will come!”
Q: Why did the haunted house not like rain? A: Because it dampened his spirits.
Q: What did the hat say to the necktie? A: You go AHEAD I’ll HANG AROUND!
Q: How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a cosmos of nothingness.
Q: Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door? A: To win the no-bell prize.
The strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workmen. After several minutes, the older worker had had enough. “Why don’t you put your money where your mouth is,” he said. […]
Q: How many Survivors does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One to start screwing it in and the rest to vote ’em off the ladder.
