I used to not get on with my mother-in-law, but over the last few months I’ve developed quite an attachment for her.It goes over her head and a strap comes down under her chin to keep her mouth shut!

One day a wife complained, “This wall clock almost killed my mother today.It fell only seconds after she got up from the couch.”The husband grunted and replied, “The darn clock always was slow.”

Mother-in-law: I baked two kinds of cookies today. Would you like to takeyour pick?Son-in-law: No thanks. I’ll just use the hammer.

How many tax advisors does it take to change a light bulb?”In the summer there is a tax deductible convention in Hawaii, dealing exactly with this issue.”

How many applicants does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but 200 applied for the job.

Bill and Steve are enjoying a beer and discussing the possibility of love. “I thought I was in love three times,” Bill says. “Thought?” Steve asks. “What do you mean?” “Three years ago, I cared very deeply for a woman who wanted nothing to do with me,” Bill says. “Wasn’t that love?” Steve asks. “No, […]

A wife and her husband were having a dinner party for all the major status figures in Rome, Italy. The wife was very excited about this and wanted everything to be perfect. At the very last minute, she realized that she didn’t have any snails for this dinner party, so she asked her husband to […]

A young man was strolling down a street. As he passed a large building with a fence around it, he heard a group of people chanting “Thirteen, thirteen, thirteen” over and over again.Curious, he tried to see over the fence, but couldn’t. Then he spotted a hole in the wood.He put his eye to the […]

Once there was a millionaire who had a collection of live alligators. He kept them in a pool at the back of his mansion. The millionaire also had a beautiful daughter who was single. One day, he decides to throw a huge party. During the party he announces, “My dear guests, I have a proposition […]

Three friends were stranded on a desert island. After several weeks with no food and no drinking water, they were beginning to lose heart. Suddenly, a bottle floated into the shore and a beautiful genie popped out. She said “I have three wishes to grant. Each of you gentleman can make one wish come true.” […]

A girl walked over to her neighbor’s for her morning chat session. When she got there, her neighbor remarked how tired she looked. “Yeah” she said, “I didn’t sleep well last night, I had this really strange dream.” “Do tell” said her neighbor, pouring the coffee. “Well, I dreamed I woke up and went downstairs […]

How many librarians does it take to screw in a light bulb?”I don’t know, but I can look it up for you.”