A woman reported the disappearance of her husband to the police. The officer looked at the guy’s photograph, questioned her, and then asked if she wanted to give her husband any message if they found him.”Yes, please” she replied. “Tell him Mother didn’t come after all.”
A young Jewish man excitedly tells his mother he’s fallen in loveand going to get married. He says, “Just for fun, Ma, I’m goingto bring over three women and you try and guess which one I’mgoing to marry.”The mother agrees. The next day, he brings three beautiful womeninto the house and sits them down on […]
The young wife was in tears when she opened the door for her husband. “I’ve been insulted,” she sobbed. “Your mother insulted me.” “My mother!” he exclaimed. “But she is a hundred miles away.” “I know, but a letter came for you this morning and I opened it.” He looked stern, “I see, but where […]
What is the difference between a English actuary and a Sicilian actuary?An English actuary can tell you how many people are going to die next year. A Sicilian actuary can give you their names…
Did you hear about the fire in the rednecks library? Both the books got burned, and one hadn’t even been coloured in yet.
How do you cook vegatables in the microwave ? Take them out their wheelchair.
My mother-in-law is like a fine French Impressionist painting.She’s very lovely, but is best appreciated at a distance.
My mother-in-law was bitten by a dog yesterday.How is she now ?She’s fine. But, the dog died.
Q. Is it possible to kill a mother-in-law with newspaper?A. Yes, if you wrap an iron in it.
I used to not get on with my mother-in-law, but over the last few months I’ve developed quite an attachment for her.It goes over her head and a strap comes down under her chin to keep her mouth shut!
One day a wife complained, “This wall clock almost killed my mother today.It fell only seconds after she got up from the couch.”The husband grunted and replied, “The darn clock always was slow.”
