Q: How many Mafia hitmen does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Three. One to screw it in, one to watch, and one to shoot the witness.
Did you hear about the ghoul’s favorite hotel? It had running rot and mould in every room.
What happened to the wizard who ran away with the circus?The police made him bring it back again.
A magician was employed by a Shipping Line to entertain the passengers during cruises. The captain owned a parrot which always insisted on being part of the acts put on by the magician. He would perch on the edge of the stage and screech, “He does it with a mirror” or “He’s got it up […]
A gang of witches broke into a blood bank last night and stole a thousand pints of blood. Police are still hunting for the clots.
At the scene of a bank raid the police officer came running up to his inspector and said, “He got away, sir!” The inspector was furious. “But I told you to put a man on all the exits!” he roared. “How could he have got away?” “He left by one of the entrances, sir!”
When Fred was applying for a credit card, the manager of the credit card company asked him if he had much money in the bank. “I have,” said Fred. “How much?” asked the manager. “I don’t know exactly,” said Fred, “I haven’t shaken it lately.”
Mother: Fred, why did you put a slug in your grandma’s bed? Fred: Because I couldn’t find a snake.
My mother-in-law has got so many double chins it looks like she is peering over a pile of pancakes.
After a visit to the circus, Geoff and Don were discussing the thrills and marvels they had seen. “I didn’t think much of the knife thrower, did you?” said Geoff. “I thought he was great!” enthused Don. “Well, I didn’t,” said Geoff. “He kept throwing those knives at that soppy girl but he didn’t hit […]
