Before going to Europe on business, a man drove his Rolls Royce to a downtown NY City bank and went in to ask for an immediate loan of $6,000. The loan officer was quite taken a back, and requested collateral. “Well, then, here are the keys to my Rolls-Royce”, the man said. The loan officer […]
Q: How many circus performers does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Four: One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go! A: Four. One to change the bulb and three to sing, Ta da!
Coleman moved to Wyoming and was sitting in the unemployment office applying for a job. “Have you any experience in coal mining?” asked the clerk. “Yeah, in Pennsylvania,” he replied. “They’re using that new safety lamp down there now, aren’t they?” “Ah don’t know, mister,” said Coleman. “I worked on the day shift.”
Seems a guy was driving for hours thu desolate country when he passed a farmhouse, and before he could react, a cat ran out in front of him and*splat*… he flattened the cat. Out of kindness and consideration, he stopped, turned around and drove back to the farmhouse to notify the occupants. When the housewife […]
Bank manager: I’m sorry, sir, you can’t open an account with this sort of money. They’re wooden pieces! Lumberjack: But I only want to open a shavings account.
What’s the best way to increase the size of your bank balance? Look at it through a magnifying glass.
A man went in to the bank and asked to see the man who arranged the loans. ‘I’m sorry, sir,’ said a cashier, ‘the loan arranger is out to lunch.’ ‘Can I speak to Tonto, then?’ asked the man.
Dad, did you manage to fix my toy? No, it’s not broken, the battery’s flat. Well, what shape should it be?
Did you hear about the man who jumped in the Hudson River? He committed sewercide.
It was so hot when we went on holiday last year that we had to take turns sitting in each other’s shadow.
Clown: Why are you wearing such a large shirt?Second Clown: I always perform in the big top.
