Q: Why did the clown wear loud socks? A: So his feet wouldn’t fall asleep.
Standing at the edge of the lake, a man saw a woman flailing about in the deep water. Unable to swim, the man screamed for help. A trout fisherman ran up. The man said, “My wife is drowning and I can’t swim. Please save her. I’ll give you a hundred dollars.” The fisherman dove into […]
An engineer, an experimental physicist, a theoretical physicist, and a philosopher were hiking through the hills of Scotland. Cresting the top of one hill, they see, on top of the next, a black sheep. The engineer says: “What do you know, the sheep in Scotland are black.” “Well, *some* of the sheep in Scotland are […]
A monastery in the English countryside was having a hard time with its cash flow because of the dwindling number of monks available to help with all the work. Then one day two of the monks, who had been discussing the problem, suggested they open a fish and chips stand down on the highway, right […]
Harry was telling his friend about his holiday in Switzerland. His friend had never been to Switzerland and asked, ‘what did you think of the scenery ?”Oh, I couldn’t see much,’ Harry admitted. ‘There were all these mountains in the way.’
The garbage men were just about to leave the street when a girl came running out of the house carrying some cardboard boxes.’Am I too late for the garbage ?’ she called.’No,’ replied one of the men, ‘jump right in !’
What’s a cow’s favourite love song?When I fall in love , it will be for heifer.
Before going to Europe on business, a man drove his Rolls Royce to a downtown NY City bank and went in to ask for an immediate loan of $6,000. The loan officer was quite taken a back, and requested collateral. “Well, then, here are the keys to my Rolls-Royce”, the man said. The loan officer […]
Q: How many circus performers does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Four: One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go! A: Four. One to change the bulb and three to sing, Ta da!
Coleman moved to Wyoming and was sitting in the unemployment office applying for a job. “Have you any experience in coal mining?” asked the clerk. “Yeah, in Pennsylvania,” he replied. “They’re using that new safety lamp down there now, aren’t they?” “Ah don’t know, mister,” said Coleman. “I worked on the day shift.”
Seems a guy was driving for hours thu desolate country when he passed a farmhouse, and before he could react, a cat ran out in front of him and*splat*… he flattened the cat. Out of kindness and consideration, he stopped, turned around and drove back to the farmhouse to notify the occupants. When the housewife […]
