What do you call the queue of Software Engineers standing outside Heaven ? The Y2K deadline !

St. Peter and Satan were having an argument one day about baseball. Satan proposed a game to be played on neutral grounds between a select team from the heavenly host and his own hand-picked boys. “Very well,” said the gatekeeper of Heaven. “But you realize, I hope, that we’ve got all the good players and […]

A doctor, an engineer, and a fungal taxonomist arrived at The Pearly Gates.The doctor said how he’d healed the sick, helped the lame; but he was a sinner and was sent to Hell.The engineer told how he’d built homes for the homeless, etc.; but he messed up the environment, so he was sent to Hell.The […]

Q. Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven?A. Because if they all went, it would be Hell.

A cattleman from West Texas died & went on to the Great Beyond. As he approached the great gate, he noticed that the terrain was bare with no greenery. He remarked to the gate keeper, “Howdy Saint Peter. Say, this looks just like Texas.””The gatekeeper replied, “First of all, I’m not Saint Peter and second, […]

Jay: Does the Bible say that if you smoke you can’t get toheaven?Ted: No, but the more you smoke the quicker you’ll get there.

Why did the angel lose her job? She had harp failure.

How do angels greet each other? They say, Halo.

An angel in heaven was welcoming a new arrival. “How did you get here?” he asked. And the new angel replied, “Flu…”

A famous professor of surgery died and went to heaven. At the pearly gate he was asked by the gatekeeper: ‘Have you ever committed a sin you truly regret?’ ‘Yes,’ the professor ansvered. ‘When I was a young candidate at the hospital of Saint Lucas, we played soccer against at team from the Community Hospital, […]

A religious man is on top of a roof during a great flood. A man comes by in a boat and says “get in, get in!” The religous man replies, ” no I have faith in God, he will grant me a miracle.”Later the water is up to his waist and another boat comes by […]

Three college football coaches were flying across the country when their airplane crashed and all three died. They all noticed God up in the clouds sitting in a chair. God motioned for one of them to come into the clouds. God wanted to know three things: “Who are you? What did you do? What did […]