My barber is a specialist in road map shaves. How come? When he’s finished, your face is full of short cuts.
Barber: Were you wearing a red scarf when you came in? Customer: No. Barber: Oh dear! Then I must have cut your throat.
Doctor, Doctor my hair keeps falling out, can you give me anything to keep it in ?Yes, here is a paper bag !
When can you dive in a swimming pool and not get your hair wet ?When your bald !
Why does a barber never shave a man with a wooden leg? Because he always uses a razor.
Doctor, doctor, can you give me something for my baldness? How about a few pounds of pig manure? Will that cure my baldness? No, but with that on your head no one will come near enough to notice you’re bald.
Why do bald-headed men never use keys?Because they’ve lost their locks.
Why do barbers make good drivers? Because they know all the short cuts.
A man sitting in a barber’s chair noticed that the barber’s hands were very dirty. When he commented on this, the barber explained, “Yes, sir, no one’s been in for a shampoo yet.”
A punk walked into a barber’s shop and sat in an empty chair. “Haircut, sir?” asked the barber. “No, just change the oil, please!”
How much for a haircut? Barber: Fifteen dollars. How much for a shave? Barber: Ten dollars. Right – shave my head.