And what’s your name?” the secretary asked the next new boy. “Butter.” “I hope your first name’s not Roland,” smirked the secretary. “No, ma’am. It’s Brendan.”

Have you got any broken biscuits? Yes, I have. Well, you shouldn’t be so clumsy!

What did the biscuit say when it saw two friends knocked down? Crumbs!

Why did your brother give up his job in the biscuit factory?Because he went crackers.

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a slice of bread. Doctor: You’ve got to stop loafing around.

Did you hear about the teacher who was trying to instil good table manners in her girls? She told them that a well brought girl never crumbles her bread or rolls in her soup.

They say she has a sharp tongue. Yes, she can slice bread with it.

Have you heard the story about the loaf of bread? No. Oh, crumbs.

How do you make gold soup?Put 14 carrots in it.

Don’t eat the cookies so fast they’ll keep. I know, but I want to eat as many as I can before I lose my appetite !

What are apricots?Where monkeys sleep.

What’s the best day to eat bacon? Fry-day.