Two flies were on a cornflakes packet. “Why are we running so fast?” asked one. “Because,” said the second, “it says ‘tear along the dotted line’!”

Have you got any broken biscuits? Yes, I have. Well, you shouldn’t be so clumsy!

What did the biscuit say when it saw two friends knocked down? Crumbs!

Why did your brother give up his job in the biscuit factory?Because he went crackers.

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a slice of bread. Doctor: You’ve got to stop loafing around.

Did you hear about the teacher who was trying to instil good table manners in her girls? She told them that a well brought girl never crumbles her bread or rolls in her soup.

They say she has a sharp tongue. Yes, she can slice bread with it.

Have you heard the story about the loaf of bread? No. Oh, crumbs.

Don’t eat the cookies so fast they’ll keep. I know, but I want to eat as many as I can before I lose my appetite !

What are apricots?Where monkeys sleep.

What’s the best day to eat bacon? Fry-day.

What is small, furry and smells like bacon? A hamster.