A fat girl went into a cafe and ordered two slices of apple pie with four scoops of ice cream cover with lashings of raspberry sauce and piles of chopped nuts.’Would you like a cherry on the top ?’ asked the waitress.’No, thanks,’ said the girl, ‘I’m on a diet !’
Camper: There’s something wrong with my hot dog.Cook: Don’t tell me. I’m not a veterinarian.
How can you tell the difference between a can of chicken soup and a can of tomato soup? Read the label.
What do you get if you cross a bee with a quarter of a pound of ground beef? A humburger.
Why are fried onions like a photocopy machine? They keep repeating themselves.
What did the female mushroom say about the male mushroom?”He’s a real fun guy [fungi].”
An elderly couple were killed in an accident and found themselves being given a tour of heaven by Saint Peter. “Here is your oceanside condo, over there are the tennis courts, swimming pool, and two golf courses. If you need any refreshments, just stop by any of the many bars located throughout the area.””Heck, Gloria,” […]
A family of three tomatoes were walking downtown one day when the little baby tomato started lagging behind. The big father tomato walks back to the baby tomato, stomps on her, squashing her into a red paste, and says, “Ketchup!”
What did the ice cream say to the unhappy cake? “Hey, what’s eating you?”
