Where do fish come from?Finland!

Which fish dresses the best? The Swordfish – It always looks sharp!

What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout ?Monkfish !

What kind of fish will help you hear better ? A herring aid !

What do naked fish play with ? Bare-a-cudas !

Why are fish cleverer than humans?Ever seen a fish spend a fortune trying to hook a human?

What do you call a literary fish? Salmon Rushdie!

What fish do road-menders use ? Pneumatic krill !

What is dry on the outside, filled with water and blows up buildings ? A fish tank !

Who sleeps at the bottom of the sea ? Jack the kipper !

What did the boy fish say to his girlfriend ? ‘Your plaice or mine’ !

Why is a fish easy to weigh ? Because it has its own scales !