A US Border Patrol Agent catches an illegal alien in the bushes right by the border fence, he pulls him out and says “Sorry, you know the law, you’ve got to go back across the border right now.” The mexican man pleads with them, “No, noooo Senior, I must stay in de USA! Pleeeze!” The […]
Three guys are debating about which of their languages is the most pleasing to the ear. The Spaniard says, “Consider the word for ‘butterfly’. In Spanish, it is pronounced ‘Mariposa’, a beautiful sounding word.”The French man says, “True, but Papillion, the French word for butterfly, is even more beautiful.” “What’s wrong with Schmetterlink,” asks the […]
An American, a Jew and a Canadian were in a terrible car accident. They were all brought to the same emergency room, but all three of them died before they arrived. Just as they were about to put the toe tag on the American, he stirred and opened his eyes.Astonished, the doctors and nurses present […]
An Italian, a Scotsman, and a Chinese fellow are hired at a construction site.The foreman points to a huge pile of sand and says to the Italian guy, “You’re in charge of sweeping.” To the Scotsman, he says, “You’re in charge of shoveling.” And to the Chinese guy, “You’re in charge of supplies.”The foreman then […]
A long time ago, Britain and France were at war.During one battle, The French captured an English major.Taking the major to their headquarters, the French general began to question him.The French general asked, “Why do you English officers all wear red coats? Don’t you know the red material makes you easier targets for us to […]
Q: How many Italian-Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: I dunno exactly, but my brothers girlfriends fathers boss secretary’s sister’s next door neighbors’ priest’s cousin’s union shop steward’s uncle’s Knights Of Columbus club Seargant-of-Arms nephew’s best friend did it real cheap for me once.
Q: How many Scotsmen does it take to change a light bulb? A: Scotsmen don’t change light bulbs, it’s cheaper to sit in the dark
Q: How many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Six. One to screw in the lightbulb and five to fend off all those Californians trying to share the experience.
Q: How many newsmen does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Only one, but he’ll tell everybody.
What is the most common educational degree in New Mexico?Kindergarten dropout.
Q: Why do Polish police cars have stripes on the side?A: So the cops can find the handles.
“Helga, tell me something. Why do Swedish men always have stupid grins on their faces?” “Because they’re stupid,” said her friend.
