What did the dog get when he multiplied 497 by 684?The wrong answer.

What did the dog do with the history professor?They got together and talked over old times.

What did the dog do when the panhandler put the bite on him?Bit him, naturally.

How do you keep a dog from barking in your front yard?Put him in your back yard.

How did the dog’s owner know his pet was angry about having soap flakes for breakfast?He foamed at the mouth.

How did the dog make gold soup?He put in 24 carrots.

How did the dog make anti-freeze?He stole her blanket.

How did the dog get into the locked cemetery at night?He used a skeleton key.

How did the dog feel when he lost his flashlight?Delighted.

How can you tell a dog from a tomato?The tomato is red.

How can you tell a dog from an elephant?The elephant remembers.

How do you find your dog if he’s lost in the woods ?Put your ear up to a tree and listen for the bark !