When you catch your dog eating a dictionary, what should you do?Take the words right out of his mouth.

When is a dog most impolite?When he points.

What would you get if you crossed a chicken with a dog?A hen that lays pooched eggs.

What would you call a nine day old dog in Russia?A puppy.

What was the dog doing on the turnpike?About seven miles an hour.

What should you know before you teach your dog a new trick?You should know more than your dog.

What should you do if you see a vicious dog?Hope he doesn’t see you.

What should you do if you find an angry 500-pound dog in your kitchen?Eat out.

What place of business helps dogs who have lost their tails?A retail store.

What looks like a dog, sounds like a dog, eats like a dog, but isn’t a dog?A pup.

What is the difference between a dog and a mailbox?If you don’t know you must lose a lot of mail.

What is worse than a dog howling at the moon?Two dogs howling at the moon.