How many triage nurses does it take to change a light bulb?One, but the bulb will have to spend four hours in the waiting room.
How many doctors does it take to change a light bulb?Only one, but he has to have a nurse to tell him which end to screw in.
How many nurses does it take to change a light bulb?None, they just have a nursing assistant do it.As much as the doctor orders.
The nurse who can smile when things go wrong is probably going off duty.
Why did the nurse always insist on using the rectal thermometer to obtain temperatures?Because nurses are taught in nursing school to always look for her patient’s best side.
Did you hear about the nurse who died and went straight to hell?It took her two weeks to realize that she wasn’t at work anymore!
A nurse was showing some student nurses through the hospital. “This will be the most hazardous section in the hospital for you. The men on this floor are almost well.”
A doctor is going round the ward with a nurse and they come to the first bed where the chap is laying half dead.”Did you give this man two tablets every eight hours?” asks the doctor.”Oh, no,” replies the nurse, “I gave him eight tablets every two hours!”At the next bed the next patient also […]
Interns think of God, residents pray to God, doctors talk to God, nurses ARE God.
What’s the difference between a nurse and a nun? A nun only serves one God.
A doctor and a nurse were called to the scene of an accident.Doctor: We need to get these people to a hospital now!Nurse: What is it?Doctor: It’s a big building with a lot of doctors, but that’s not important now!
Doctor: Did you take the patient’s temperature?Nurse: No. Is it missing?
