A man who was very upset walked in to see his doctor. “Doctor, you’ve got to help me!” he wailed. “What seems to be the trouble?” asked the doctor. “I keep having the same dream, night after night. There’s this door with a sign on it, and I push and push the door but I […]
“What do you do?” a young man asked the beautiful girl he was dancing with. “I’m a nurse.” “I wish I could be ill and let you nurse me,” he whispered in her ear. “That would be miraculous. I work on the maternity ward.”
How many physiotherapists does it take to change a light bulb?None. They just give the dead bulb some exercises to do and hope it will be working a bit better the next time they see it.
“Why are you so excited?”, the surgeon asked the patient that was about to be anesthetized.”But doc, this is my first operation.””Really? It’s mine too, and I am not excited at all.”
At a medical convention, a male doctor and a female doctor start eyeing each other. The male doctor asks her to dinner and she accepts. As they sit down at the restaurant, she excuses herself to go and wash her hands.After dinner, one thing leads to another and they end up in her hotel bedroom. […]
What is a double-blind study?Two orthopaedists reading an electrocardiogram.
Patient: I always see spots before my eyes.Doctor: Didn’t the new glasses help?Patient: Sure, now I see the spots much clearer.
A man needing a heart transplant is told by his doctor that the only heart available is that of a sheep. The man finally agrees and the doctor transplants the sheep heart into the man. A few days after the operation, the man comes in for a checkup. The doctor asks him “How are you […]
What’s the difference between a general practitioner and a specialist?One treats what you have, the other thinks you have what he treats.
A man goes to the eye doctor. The receptionist asks him why he is there. The man complains, “I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes.”The receptionist asks, “Have you ever seen a doctor?” and the man replies, “No, just spots.”
“The doctor said he would have me on my feet in two weeks.””And did he?””Yes, I had to sell the car to pay the bill.”
An old fellow came into the hospital truly on death’s door due to an infected gallbladder. The surgeon who removed the gallbladder was adamant that his patients be up and walking in the hall the day after surgery, to help prevent blood clots forming in the leg veins. The nurses walked the patient in the […]
