Question: What is the difference between a woman in church and a woman in a bathtub?Answer: One has hope in her soul, the other has soap in her hole.
Q: Why did the blonde give up bowling for screwing?A: The balls are lighter, and you don’t have to change shoes.
I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, “Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?” She said, “No, I hate myself now.”
A market researcher called at a house and his knockwas answered by a young woman with three smallchildren running around her. He asked her if she mindedreplying to his questions and she agreed. He asked her if she knew his company,Cheeseborough-Ponds. When she said no, he mentioned that among their many products wasVaseline and she […]
A woman walks into her accountant’s office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes. The accountant says, “Before we begin, I’ll need to ask a few questions.” He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks, “What is your occupation?” The woman replies, “I’m a whore.” The accountant balks […]
An old man approaches the window of a cinema with a chicken on his shoulder, and asks for 2 tickets. The girl at the counter wants to know who is going in with him. He replies, “Well, my pet chicken, of course!” “I’m sorry,” The girl tells him. “We can’t allow animals in the cinema.” […]
Two Marines were sitting around talking one day. The first Marine asked the second Marine, “If they were to drop a bomb right now, what would be the first thing you would do?”The second Marine said, “I would screw the first thing that moved. What would you do?”The first Marine replied, “I would stand very […]
The officer shouted orders to a nearby soldier. With considerable bravery, the GI ran directly onto the field of battle, in the line of fire, to retrieve a dispatch case from a dead soldier. In a hail of bullets, he dove back to safety.”Private,” the officer said, “I’m recommending you for a medal. You risked […]
What’s the ultimate rejection?When you’re masturbating and your hand falls asleep.
