The Smith’s were proud of their family tradition. Their ancestorshad come to America on the Mayflower. They had included Senatorsand Wall Street wizards.They decided to compile a family history, a legacy for theirchildren and grandchildren. They hired a fine author. Only oneproblem arose — how to handle that great-uncle George, who wasexecuted in the electric […]

Once upon a time, a guy was sitting at a bar. He was throwing money around, giving the barman hundred dollar tips and buying drinks for everyone. He was surrounded by a crowd of adoring women. The barman liked the tips, but he was kind of curious about a little man thatwould jump from the […]

A little boy returning home from his first day at school said to his mother,”Mom, what’s sex?” His mother, who believed in all the most modern educationaltheories, gave him a detailed explanation, covering all aspects of the trickysubject. When she had finished, the little lad produced an enrollment form whichhe had brought home from school […]

As a hooker was dressing, she turned to her customer and asked, “Have you justgotten out of prison?””Yeah,” the guy replied. “How did you guess? Is it because I wanted to have sexfrom the rear?””Partly.” She said. “But more because when we finished, you ran around in frontof me, bent over, and shouted, ‘YOUR TURN.’”

An old man and his wife lived deep in the hills and seldom saw many people. One day a peddler came by to sell his goods and asked the man if he or his wifewanted to buy something. “Well, my wife ain’t home, she’s gone down to the creekto wash clothes, but lemma see what […]

Paul was ambling through a crowded street fair when hedecided to stop and sit at a Palm Reader’s table.Said the mysterious old woman, “For fifteen dollars, Ican read your love line and tell your romantic future.”Paul readily agreed and the reader took one look at hisopen palm and said, “I can see that you have […]

Because of a bad case of hemorrhoids, a gay bottom goes to his doctor. Thephysician prescribes suppositories, but when it comes time to use them the youngman is afraid he will do it wrong. So he goes into the bathroom and bends overand looks through his legs into the mirror to line up the target. […]

Joan, the town gossip and supervisor of the town’s morals, publicly accused herneighbor George of being an alcoholic because she saw his pickup truck parkedoutside the town’s only bar.George stared at her for a moment, and said nothing. Later that evening, heparked his pickup truck in front of her house and left it there all […]

A salesman was testifying in his divorce proceedings against his wife. “Pleasedescribe,” said his attorney, “the incident that first caused you to entertainsuspicions as to your wife’s fidelity.””Well, I’m pretty much on the road all week,” the man testified. “So naturallywhen I am home, I’m attentive to the wife.” “One Sunday morning,” he continued,”we were […]

A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together. They get back to her place, and as she shows him around herapartment, he notices that her bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears.Hundreds of small bears on a shelf all the way along the floor, medium […]

One day a teacher was asking her class to use absolutely in a sentence.So Janet raised her hand and said the sky is absolutely blue, the teacher said no, it is not, sometimes is black or has different colors. Another little boy raised his hand and said “the leaves on the trees are absolutely green” […]

A murderer, imprisoned for life, broke free after 15 years and was onthe run. He broke into a house and tied up the young couple he foundin the bedroom; the man to a chair on one side of the room and hiswife to the bed. The helpless husband watched him get on the bed,straddle his […]