Harry approached a prostitute and asked, “How much for a blow job ?”.”Hundred Bucks”.”OK”, he said and began to jerk off.”What the hell are you doing that for?””For hundred bucks you don’t think I’m going to give you the easyone, do you ?”

During a funeral for a woman who had henpecked her husband, drove herkids half nuts, scrapped with the neighbors at the slightestopportunity, and even made neurotics of their cat and dog with herexplosive temper. As the casket was lowered into the grave, a violent thunderstorm broke, and the pastor’s benediction was drowned out by a […]

While away at a convention, an executive happened to meet a young woman who waspretty and intelligent. When he persuaded her to disrobe in his hotel room, hefound out she had a superb body as well. Unfortunately, the executive foundhimself unable to perform.On his first night home, the executive walked from the shower into the […]

A knight and his men returned to their castle after a hard day of fighting. “Howare we faring?” asked the king. “Sire!” replied the knight, “I have been robbingand pillaging on your behalf all day, burning the towns of your enemies to thewest.” “What?” shrieked the king, “I don’t have any enemies to the west!” […]

An old man in a nursing home awoke one day andtrundled down the hallway to the community breakfastroom looking rather forlorn. Ms. Smith, a nurse, methim in the hallway. She greeted him smilingly andasked how he was this day.Mr. Jones allowed that not all was well; in fact, hispenis had died during the night. Ms. […]

Two old men were sat on a bench outside a nursing home having a chat. “How areyou, Richard?” asked George. “I’m not feeling too good today, I’m utterlyexhausted,” replied Richard. “I’ve pulled a muscle, and it’s killing me.” “I’msurprised that a pulled muscle makes you feel so tired,” said George. Richardyawned and said, “Well, it […]

My wife rushed into the supermarket to pick up a few items. She headed for theexpress line where the clerk was talking on the phone with his back turned toher.”Excuse me,” she said, “I’m in a hurry. Could you check me out, please?”The clerk turned, stared at her for a second, looked her up and […]

A husband and wife love to golf together, but neither of them are playinglike they want to, so they decide to take private lessons.The husband hashis lesson first. After the pro sees his swing, he says, “No, no, no,”you’re gripping the club way too hard!” “Well, what should I do?” asks the man. “Hold the […]

Two deaf people get married. During the first week of marriage, they findthat they are unable to communicate in the bedroom when they turn off thelights because they can’t see each other using sign language. After several nights of fumbling around and misunderstandings, the wife decides to find a solution. “Honey,” she signs, “Why don’t […]

Bill Clinton and his driver were cruising along a country road onenight when all of a sudden they hit a pig, killing it instantly. Bill told his driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners whathad happened. About one hour later Bill sees his driver staggering back to thecar with a […]

Three Friends an Italian a German and a Greek they decided to bet it’s other100 euros who is going to make their wives scream more from sex.So they all go home to have sex with their wives so they make them scream.The next day the meet.The Italian says, “I made love to my wife for […]

A woman checked in at the pearly gates and asked to join her former husband,Walter Smith. Saint Peter said, “We have five million Walter Smiths. Give us alittle clue.”The woman said, “My Walter is bald and has blue eyes, and he said that if I everslept with another man he’d turn over in his grave.”Saint […]