What is the difference between a thief and a church bell?One steals from the people, the other peals, from the steeple.
If you crossed a gangster and a garbage man, what would you have?Organised grime (crime).
What did the burglar say to the lady who caught him stealing her silver? I’m at your service, ma’am.
‘It’s a pity you’ve gone on hunger strike,’ said the convict’s girlfriend on visiting day. ‘Why ?’ ‘I’ve put a file in your cake.’
A boy is in a prison cell with no windows and no doors: there are no holes in the ceiling or trapdoors in the floor, yet in the morning the jailers find him gone. How did he get out ?Through the doorway – there were no doors remember !
Detective: Why did you dump those vegetables on my desk?Criminal: You said it was time to spill the beans.
Policeman: Did you know your vehicle was reported stolen?Criminal: It wasn’t when I took it.
Detective: How did you get into counterfeiting?Criminal: I answered an ad that said, “Make money at home.”
