Q: What is the difference between Windows 95 and Windows 98? A: 3 years
After buying a PC from a dealer of shady shady repute, the luckless customer unpacked his new toy and plugged it in to find it Dead On Arrival. Naturally, after checking the usual things, he called the dealer and explained his problem. First question from Deviously Evasive Dealer: “Did you check to see whether the […]
A customer called to say he couldn’t get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of trouble-shooting, the technician discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the screen and pressing the “send” key.
Customer: “It says I’ve performed an illegal operation and will be shut down. Have I done something wrong?”
This truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers stops for a beer. As he approaches the bar, he sees a big sign on the door saying:”Nerds Not Allowed — Enter At Your Own Risk!”He goes in and sits down. The bartender comes over to him.”You smell kind of nerdy. What do you do for […]
Once a programmer drowned in the sea. Many Marines where at that time on the beach, but the programmer was shouting “F1 F1” and nobody understood it.
Helpline? I’ve just pushed a piece of bacon into my disk drive!Has the computer stopped working?No, but there’s a lot of crackling.
Why did the duck stick his leg into a computer?He wanted to have webbed feet.
Computers manufacturer is considering changing the command “Press Any Key” to “Press Return Key” because of the flood of calls asking where the “Any” key is.
I heard that if you play the Windows NT 4.0 CD backwards, you’ll get a satanic message. But the most frightening thing is that if you play it forward, it installs NT 4.0!
Dear God: Yesterday was an awful day for me…My husband ran off with his secretary,My son pierced his eyebrow,My daughter tattooed the bald spot on her head,My dog mated with the neighbors cat,My neighbor sold her house to a mental institution,My Mom told me I was adopted,My Dad told me he’s gay,My boss told me […]
