The problem with physicists is that they tend to cheat in order to get results.The problem with mathematicians is that they tend to work on toy problems in order to get results.The problem with program verifiers is that they tend to cheat at toy problems in order to get results.
Pupil: In other schools, pupils get a choice of computers to use.Teacher: You get a choice her, too. Use the one we’ve got or don’t use any at all.
While trying to diagnose a problem over the phone I told the user to type out his autoexec.bat file.He said it said “File not found”.I told him to do a dir.I asked him if he saw autoexec.bat listed.He said, “Well it says autoexec, then there’s some spaces, but no dot, and then it says bat.”I […]
Q: How many programmers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None, that’s a hardware problem.
Another customer called Tech Support to say her brand-new computer wouldn’t work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in, and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked “What power switch?”
“This little computer,” said the sales clerk, “will do half of your job for you.” Studying the machine, the senior VP said, “Fine, I’ll take two.”
Why was there a bug in the computer?It was looking for a byte to eat.
A software verifier read in the Bible that God protects all fools, and decided to test it empirically. He jumped out of the window and broke a leg. There he lies, writhing in pain, and happily thinks: “I never really considered myself a fool, but I never knew I was THAT clever!”
Teacher: Look at the state of the school computer. I want that screen cleaned so I can see my face in it!Pupil: But then it will crack and we won’t be able to use it at all.
