What do you get if you take your computer to an ice rink?A slipped disk.

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a computer.My goodness, you’d better come to my surgery right away!I can’t, my power cable won’t reach that far.

Why did the school bully kick the classroom computer?Someone told him he was supposed to boot up the system.

– Why do you think I spend too much time at my computer? – Well, dear… Every time I ask you to close the windows you answer with “Please wait while your computer shuts down”…

I overheard a woman in a computer store say to the sales assistant “I want a game capable of holding the interest of my six-year-old, but it’s got to be simple enough for his father to play, too.”

A technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was “bad and invalid”. The tech explained that the computer’s “bad” and “invalid” responses shouldn’t be taken personally.

A caller, perplexed that his new desktop computer–the one that was supposed to do everything short of bringing on world peace – was doing nothing, cried out for help. No problem, the IBM technician said. First, open a “window” to launch a specific program. The conversation continued, and the caller asked a few moments later […]

Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?””Yes, well, I’m having trouble with WordPerfect.””What sort of trouble?””Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.””Went away?””They disappeared.””Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?””Nothing.””Nothing?””It’s blank; it won’t accept anything when I type.””Are you still in WordPerfect, or did […]

They say that the new super computer knows everything. A skeptical man came and asked the computer, “Where is my father?”The computer bleeped for a short while, and then came back with “Your father is fishing in Michigan.”The skeptical man said triumphantly, “You see? I knew this was nonsense. My father has been dead for […]

I’ve been sitting at this computer for hours and I haven’t seen a single website.That’s because you’re supposed to sit facing the screen.

What’s the difference between your finger and a hammer?I don’t know!Well, you’re not using my computer keyboard then!

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a laptop computer.You’re just run down, let me give you some vitamins.No, thanks. But I could do with some new batteries.