Why do computer teachers never get sick?Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

The Three Laws of Secure Computing1) Don’t buy a computer.2) If you do buy a computer, don’t plug it in.3) If you do plug it in, sell it and return to step 1.

….. Ya see, we at Microsoft believe in making computing easier! What could be easier for consumers than having only ONE choice of software?!?

Young Judy, the editor of a trivia publication, was having trouble with her computer. So she called Prem, the computer guy, over to her desk. Prem clicked a couple buttons and solved the problem.As he was walking away, Judy called after him, “So, what was wrong?”And he replied, “It was an ID ten T error.”A […]

A customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then he removed all the keys and washed them individually.

A Software Engineer, a Hardware Engineer and a Branch Manager were on their way to a meeting. They were driving down a steep mountain road when suddenly the brakes on their car failed. The car careened almost out of control down the road, bouncing off the crash barriers, until it miraculously ground to a halt […]

If Microsoft built cars you would need to restart your car, then it would perform illegal operations and crash.

Why all Pascal programmers ask to live in Atlantis?Because it is below C level.

I’ve been on my computer all night!Don’t you think you’d be more comfortable on a bed like everyone else?

What do you get if you take your computer to an ice rink?A slipped disk.

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a computer.My goodness, you’d better come to my surgery right away!I can’t, my power cable won’t reach that far.

Why did the school bully kick the classroom computer?Someone told him he was supposed to boot up the system.