Me: “What is that noise?” Customer: “Hey Martinez!! I’m on the phone! Cut it out!” Me: “What was that?” Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Customer: “It’s from a device.” Me: “What kind of device?” Customer: “I don’t know.” Me: “Like a fax machine or something?” Customer: “I don’t know. Someone is under house arrest […]
Q: What’s another name for the “Intel Inside” sticker they put on Pentiums? A: The warning label.
How many IBM employees does it take to change a light bulb?Fifteen. Five to do it, and ten to write document number GC7500439-001, Multitasking Incadescent Source System Facility, of which 10% of the pages state only “This page intentionally left blank”.
What did one keyboard say to the other keyboard?Sorry, you’re not my type.
You’re spending a lot of time at that computer screen. Have you had your eyes checked?No, they’ve always been blue!
Bill Gates suddenly dies and finds himself face to face with God. God stood over Bill Gates and said, “Well Bill, I’m really confused on this one. It’s a tough decision; I’m not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you helped society enormously by putting a computer in almost every […]
As most technophiles are aware, there are special programs to run scanners. These programs use a TWAIN driver to perform the scanning. TWAIN, the acronym, stands for “Technology Without An Interesting Name.”
If Bill Gates had a dime for every time a Windows box crashed…Oh, wait a minute, he already does.
Customer: “My disk is stuck in my disk drive. Clicking eject doesn’t work.” Tech Support: “Ok, turn the power to your Mac off, hold down the mouse clicker, and power the Mac back up.” Customer: “Look, I don’t have three hands!”
Q: What do you call a series of FDIV instructions on a Pentium? A: Successive approximations.
