Elf: My favourite film is about the man who casts spells in the middle of a swamp.Father Christmas: That’s called ‘The Wizard of Ooze’!
Father Christmas: Excuse me, but did I step on your toes on my way out to get an ice-cream?Lady: You certainly did!Father Christmas: Oh good! That means I’m back in the right row!
Father Christmas: All right, my good lady, my face is my ticket.Box office attendant: Then you’d better watch out… there’s a feller inside who has the job of punching the tickets.
Father Christmas: What’s your favourite Christmas story?Elf: The one about the ghost that steals porridge!Father Christmas: You mean ‘Ghoul-di-locks’!
What song do Father Christmas’ gnomes sing to him when he comes home cold on Christmas night?Freeze a jolly good fellow!
I wouldn’t say that Christmas gnomes are cross-eyed, but when they cry the tears run down their back!
What do gnomes fear most about Christmas?They’re afraid Father Christmas will give them the sack!
Father Christmas: How do I stop a Christmas Gnome being airsick on the sledge?Gnome : Put a five pound note between his teeth and stick his head over the side of the sledge.
I wouldn’t say Christmas gnomes are small.But they used to be lumberjacks on a mushroom farm!
I wouldn’t say Christmas gnomes are ugly, But if beauty’s skin deep then they were was born inside out!
Doctor, Doctor I’m scared of Father ChristmasDoctor: You’re suffering from Claus-trophobia.
