Policeman: How can you drive so recklessly?Driver: I have to, this is a getaway car.

Policeman: How can you say you don’t have any outstanding tickets?Driver: They’re all in the glove compartment.

Policeman: Didn’t you see my lights flashing?Motorist: No, I was going faster than the speed of light.

Policeman: Didn’t you see that stop sign?Driver: I keep my eyes closed in traffic.

Policeman: Did you realize you just missed that bus with your car?Motorist: Did you want me to hit it?

Policeman: Didn’t you hear me whistle at you?Woman Driver: Sure, but I don’t flirt when I drive.

Policeman: Didn’t you hear my siren?Motorist: Sure, that’s why I sped up.

Policeman: Are you going to a fire?Motorist: No, I’m trying to prevent one. That’s what my boss said would happen if I were late again.

Police Officer: Why are you driving in a bathing suit?Motorist: I’m in a car pool.

Police Officer: Why were you speeding?Women Driver: I was late for traffic school.

Motorist: When I bought this car you told me it was rust-free, but underneath it’s covered with rustDealer: Yes, sir. The car is rust-free. We didn’t charge you for it, did we?

Motorist: Does a deer have a horn?Police Officer: No, a deer has two horns.Motorist: Then it must have been a car that ran over my uncle.