Q: How many auto mechanics does it take to change a light bulb? A: Six – One to force it with a hammer and five to go out for more bulbs. A: Two, one to screw in all the bulbs he has until he finds one that fits, and the other to tell you he […]

Policeman: Why were you speeding?Motorist: I was trying to get home before I ran out of gas.

Policeman: Why were you speeding?Motorist: I wasn’t going to miss seeing myself on “America’s Most Wanted.”

Q: How many London taxi drivers does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: What ? Go all the way up there and come back empty ? You must be jokin’ mate !

Policeman: Why were you speeding when I stopped you?Motorist: So I could race home to get my license and registration.

Policeman: Why were you speeding?Driver: I didn’t want to be late for my trial.

Policeman: Why were you speeding?Motorist: I was trying to get away from the crime scene.

Policeman: Why have you parked your bus here?Bus Driver: The sign says “Bus Stop.”

Policeman: Why were you asleep at the wheel?Motorist: Your siren lulled me to sleep.

Policeman: Why were you driving around in circles and laughing?Motorist: I thought I was on a merry-go-round.

Policeman: Why did you stop your car, get out, and yell “coward” at the traffic signal?Motorist: The light just turned yellow.

Policeman: Why did your car just spin around in circles?Motorist: I was making a U-turn and changed my mind.