How do you stop a dog howling in the back of a car? Put him in the front.
Auntie Maud bought herself a new rear-engine European car. She took an old friend for a drive, but after only half a mile the car broke down. Both women got out and opened up the front of the car. “Oh. Maud,” said her friend, “you’ve lost your engine!” “Never mind, dear,” said auntie. “I’ve got […]
What’s the difference between a teacher and a conductor on the railroad? One trains the mind, the other minds the train.
What do you get if you cross a Rolls Royce with a vampire? A monster that attacks expensive cars and sucks out their gas tanks.
Why did the stupid racing car driver make ten pit stops during the Grand Prix? He was asking for directions.
Monster: I’ve got to walk 25 miles home. Ghost: Why don’t you take a train. Monster: I did once, but my mother made me give it back.
Did you hear about the boy who had to do a project on trains? He had to keep track of everything!
Why do you have to wait so long for a ghost train to come along? They only run a skeleton service.
What is evil and ugly and goes at 125 mph? A witch in a high speed train.
What did the monster say when he saw a rush hour train full of passengers? Oh good! A chew chew train!
After spending 3-1/2 hours enduring the long lines, surly clerks, andinsane regulations at the department of motor vehicles, I stopped at atoy store to pick up a gift for my son. I brought my selection – a baseball bat – to the cash register. “Cash or charge?” the clerk asked.”Cash,” I snapped. Then, apologizing for […]
