A man walks into a shoe store, and tries on a pair of shoes. “How do they feel?” asks the sales clerk.”Well they feel a bit tight,” replies the man.The assistant promptly bends down and has a look at the shoes and at the man’s feet. “Try pulling the tongue out,” the clerk says.”Well, theyth […]

A customer walks into a restaurant and notices a large sign on the wall: $500 If we fail to fill your order! When his waitress arrives, he orders elephant nuts on rye.She calmly writes down his order and walks into the kitchen where all hell breaks loose!The restaurant owner comes storming out of the kitchen. […]

There are three beggars begging on Wall Street.The first beggar wrote “Beggar” on his broken cup. He received $10.00 after one day.The next day, the second beggar wrote “Beggar.com” on his cup. After one day, he received hundreds of thousands of dollars and an offer to float an IPO on NASDAQ.The following day, the third […]

The Americans and Japanese decided to engage in a boat race. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance levels. On the big day they felt ready. The Japanese won by a mile.The American team was discouraged by the loss. Morale sagged. Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat […]

A man went to apply for a job. After filling out all of his applications, he waited anxiously for the outcome.The employer read all his applications and said, “We have an opening for people like you.””Oh, great,” he said, “What is it?””It’s called the door!”

This guy is walking with his friend. He says to this friend, “I’m a walking economy.” The friend replies “How so?” “My hair line is in recession, my stomach is a victim of inflation, and both of these together are putting me into a deep depression!”

A man has spent many days crossing the desert without water. His camel has died of thirst. He’s crawling through the sands, certain that he has breathed his last, when all of a sudden he sees a shiny object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him. He crawls to the object, pulls […]

Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive’s wife stops by his office. As she walks in unannounced, she finds his secretary sitting on his lap. Without hesitating, he begins to dictated a letter… “And in conclusion gentlemen, budget cut or not, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair.

Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive’s wife stops by his office. As she walks in unannounced, she finds his secretary sitting on his lap. Without hesitating, he begins to dictated a letter… “And in conclusion gentlemen, budget cut or not, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair.

A young executive was leaving the office late one evening, when he finds the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand. “Listen,” said the CEO, “this is a very sensitive and important document here, and my secretary has gone for the night. Can you make this thing […]

When the office photo-copies began to look faint, the office manager called in a local repair service. The friendly technician after inspecting the equipment, informed the manager that the machine was in need of a good cleaning. The tech suggested that someone might try reading the operator’s manual and perform the job themselves, since it […]

A stockbroker was cold calling about a penny stock and found a taker. “I think this one will really move said the broker, it’s only $1 a share.” “Buy me 1000 shares.” said the client. The next day the stock was at $2. The client called the broker and said, “You were right, give me […]