A young ensign had nearly completed his first overseas tour of sea duty when he was given an opportunity to display his ability at getting the ship under way. With a stream of crisp commands, he had the decks buzzing with men and soon, the ship had left port and was streaming out of the […]

When I asked my boss for a salary rise because I was doing the work of three men he said he couldn’t increase my pay, but if I told him the names of the three men he’d fire them.

A frog goes into the bank and asks the teller for a loan. The teller tells the frog to see Mr. Paddywack, the loan officer. Mr. Paddywack looks at the frog and says, “What do you have for collateral?” The frog pulls out of his pocket a solid silver elephant. Mr. Paddywack looks at the […]

Four men were bragging about how smart their dogs are. The first man was an engineer, the second man was an Accountant, the third man was a Chemist and the fourth was a Government Worker. To show off, the Engineer called to his dog, “T-square, do your stuff!”. T-square trotted over to a desk, took […]

Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood. They parked their truck at the end of the alley and worked their way to the other end. At the last house a woman looking out her kitchen window watched the two men as they […]

A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. “I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family,” said the man. “To show you how much we care for you, I’m making you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you have to do is go to the factory every […]

An Irishman goes for a job on a building site.The man says, “Can you brew tea?”The Irishman says, “Yes.””Good. Can you drive a fork lift?”The Irishman looks at him and asksy, “Why? How big is the teapot?”

A Japanese guy is at Los Angeles International Airport, waiting for his flight back home to Japan. While he’s waiting, he goes to the currency exchange counter to change his remaining dollars.He counts his money at the counter. “Wait a minute,” he says to the clerk, “When I came here I got more dollars for […]

A dinner speaker was in such a hurry to get to his engagement that when he arrived and sat down at the head table, he suddenly realized that he had forgotten his false teeth.Turning to the man next to him he said, “I forgot my teeth.”The man said, “No problem.” With that he reached into […]

An elderly fisherman wrote to a mail order house the following:”Please send me one of those gasoline engines for my boat you show on page 438, and if it’s any good, I’ll send you a check.”In a short time he received the following reply: “Please send check. If it’s any good, we’ll send the engine.”

A shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand new business much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read ‘BEST DEALS.’He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading ‘LOWEST PRICES.’The shopkeeper panicked, until he got an idea. […]

Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. “Boss,” he says, “we’re doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff.” “We’re short-handed, Smith” the boss replies. “I can’t give you the day off.” “Thanks, boss,” says Smith […]