A motorist, driving by a Texas ranch, hit and killed a calf that was crossing the road. The driver went to the owner of the calf and explained what had happened. He then asked what the animal was worth. “Oh, about $200 today,” said the rancher. “But in six years it would have been worth […]
According to inside contacts, the Japanese banking crisis shows no signs of ameliorating. If anything, it’s getting worse.Following last week’s news that Origami Bank had folded, we are hearing that Sumo Bank has gone belly up, and Bonsai Bank plans to cut back some of its branches. Karaoke Bank is up for sale, and it […]
Tom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and kept bragging about it to his wife for weeks on end. Finally she couldn’t take it any longer, and told him, “Listen, it means nothing, they even have a vice president of peas at the grocery store!”. “Really?” […]
Q: Why did the bank drive-up window teller have tire tread marks across the back of his grey suit?A: From crawling across the street when the sign said: “Don’t Walk.”
Q: What do you call a credit union volunteer in a room full of bank directors?A: A superior being.
A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, “Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel.”I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, […]
The world is divided into two groups. There are those who know, and those who don’t know. Those who know are no problem.Those who don’t know are also in two groups.One is those who don’t know and know they don’t know. Well, they can learn!But then, there are those who don’t know, and don’t know […]
A friend of mine was a frequent user of a pay telephone at a popular truck stop, and was greatly inconvenienced when the phone went out of commission.Repeated requests for repair brought only promises.After several days, the phone company was again contacted and told that there was no longer a rush.The phone was now working […]
Four corporate presidents, one English, one French, one Japanese and one American, were on their way to an international business conference when they were kidnapped by terrorists and taken to a secret hideout.”You, your companies, and you countries are enemies of the Revolution,” screamed the terrorist leader, “and you’re going to be executed! Do you […]
The boss returned from lunch in a good mood and called the whole staff in to listen to a couple of jokes he had picked up. Everybody, but one girl laughed uproariously.”What’s the matter?” grumbled the boss. “Haven’t you got a sense of humor?””I don’t have to laugh,” she replied. “I’m leaving Friday.”
Two neighbors were talking about work, when one asked, “Say, why did the foreman fire you?”Replied the second, “Well, you know how a foreman is always standing around and watching others do the work. My foreman got jealous. People started thinking I was the foreman.”
