The boss called one of his employees into the office. “Rob,” he said, “you’ve been with the company for a year. You started off in the post room, one week later you were promoted to a sales position, and one month after that you were promoted to district manager of the sales department. “Just four […]

“Young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work?””I ought to be able to. I’ve had ten different jobs in four months.”

An Arthur Anderson partner comes back to his office and says to his manager, “Did you get my message where I said, ‘Ship the Enron documents to the Feds’?”The manager goes white. “Oh My God! I thought you said rip the Enron documents to shreds.”

An applicant was filling out a job application. When he came to the question, “Have you ever been arrested?” He answered, “No.”The next question, intended for people who had answered in the affirmative to the last one, was “Why?” The applicant answered it anyway: “Never got caught.”

An American manufacturer is showing his machine factory to a potential customer from Albania. At noon, when the lunch whistle blows, two thousand men and women immediately stop work and leave the building.”Your workers, they’re escaping!” cries the visitor. “You’ve got to stop them.””Don’t worry, they’ll be back,” says the American. And indeed, at exactly […]

The Mafia was looking for a new man to make weekly collections from all the private businesses that they were ‘protecting.’ Feeling the heat from the police force, they decide to use a deaf person for this job, figuring if he were to get caught, he wouldn’t be able to communicate to the police what […]

An investment counselor decided to go out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in, and pretty soon she realized that she needed an in-house counsel. The investment banker began to interview young lawyers.”As I’m sure you can understand,” she started off with one of the first applicants, “in a […]

“The fees for withdrawing money from your ATM machines are expected to double, even triple. You’re gonna pay two to three as much to withdraw your money so basically the ATM machines have become full service. Instead of getting robbed at the ATM machine the ATM machine robs you. You eliminate the middle man.” – […]

Did you hear about the banker who was recently arrested for embezzling $100,000 to pay for his daughter’s college education?As the policeman, who also had a daughter in college, was leading him away in handcuffs, he said to the banker, “I have just one question for you. Where were you going to get the rest […]

A wealthy investor walked into a bank and said to the bank manager, “I would like to speak with Mr. Reginald Jones, who I understand is a tried and trusted employee of yours.”The banker said, “Yes he certainly was trusted. And he will be tried as soon as we catch him.”

“I’m not saying that the customer service in my bank is bad, but when I went in the other day and asked the clerk to check my balance … she leaned over and pushed me.”

The banker fell overboard from a friend’s sailboat.The friend grabbed a life preserver, held it up, not knowing if the banker could swim, and shouted, “Can you float alone?””Obviously,” the banker replied, “but this is a heck of a time to talk business.”