“Look at that speed!” said one hawk to another as the jet fighter plane hurtled over their heads.”Hmph!” snorted the other. “You would fly fast too if your tail was on fire!”

How many ducks would there be, if you saw two ducks in front of two ducks, two ducks between two ducks, and two ducks behind two ducks? Answer: 4 ducks-because they are in a row.

A couple of pigeons made a date to meet on the ledge outside the tenth floor of a skyscraper. The female was there on time, but the male arrived an hour late. “Where were you? I was worried sick.””It was such nice day, I decided to walk.”

Why did the chicken cross the road in Missouri?To show the opossum it could be done.

Chicken to turkey: “Only Thanksgiving and Christmas???You’re lucky, with us it’s any Sunday.”

What kind of doctor does a duck visit?A Ducktor.

Did you hear about the chicken that wanted to take ballet lessons?”He wanted to be a hentertainer.”

Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be baygulls (bagels, get it?).

What do you call a vulture with no beak? A head banger.

Teacher: What’s a robin? Fred: A bird that steals, ma’am.

What do you get if you cross a giant, hairy monster with a penguin? I don’t know but it’s a very tightfitting tuxedo.

Why did a man’s pet vulture not make a sound for five years? It was stuffed.