Why shouldn’t you believe a person in bed?Because he is lying.

Why are rivers lazy?Because they never get off their beds.

Sonny: I can’t sleep. What should I do?Counselor: Lie near the edge of the bed. That way you’ll be sure to drop off!

What animal always goes to bed with its shoes on ? A horse !

Counselor: How many times did I tell you to make your bed?Jane: I can’t answer. I didn’t know I was supposed to keep count!

Why did your sister keep running around her bed ?Because she was trying to catch up with her sleep.

Why did the girl take a ruler to bed?She wanted to see how long she slept.

Mother: Did you make your bed today?Daughter: Yes, Mom, but I think it would be easier to buy one.

Why does your brother wear a life jacket in bed?Because he sleeps on a waterbed !

Why did the bed spread?Because it saw the pillow slip.

Why do people go to bed? Because the bed won’t come to them.

Shall I tell you the joke about the bed? No, because it hasn’t been made up yet.