Did you hear about the girl monster who wasn’t pretty and wasn’t ugly ?She was pretty ugly

Little Johnny and his mother were on a train. Johnny leant over and started to whisper in his mother’s ear.’Johnny, how many times have I told you,’ said his mother, ‘ it’s rude to whisper. If you have something to say, say it out loud.”OK, said Johnny, ‘why does the lady over there look like […]

Girlfriend: Will you love me when I’m old and fat and ugly?Boyfriend: Of course I do !

Mary: Do you think my sister’s pretty ?Gary: Well, let’s just say if you pulled her pigtail she’d probably say ‘oink, oink ‘!

A woman went to a sweet store to buy some sweets. The boy behind the counter said “Gosh, your ugly aren’t you?, I’ve never seen anyone so hideous as you before””Young man” she replied. ” I didn’t come here to be insulted””Really”, he said, “Where do you usually go ?”

“My boyfriend says I look like a dishy Italian!”said Miss Conceited.”Then he’s right said her little brother.”Sophia Loren?””No-spaghetti!”

A little boy came running into the kitchen. ‘Dad, dad’ he said, ‘there’s a monster at the door with a really ugly face”Tell him you’ve already got one,’ said his father !

Did you hear about the witch who did a four year course in ugliness? She finished it in two.

What is yellow and goes click-click? A ball-point banana.Witch: Will I lose my looks as I get older? Wizard: With luck, yes. Witch:

What happened when the witch went for a job as a TV presenter? The producer said she had the perfect face for radio.

People keep telling me I’m beautiful. What vivid imaginations some people have.

Don’t look out of the window, Betty, people will think it’s Halloween.