Daddy, daddy, can I have another glass of water, please? But that’s the tenth one I’ve given you tonight! Yes, but the baby’s bedroom is still on fire.

Why did the baby monster put his father in the freezer? Because he wanted frozen pop.

What would you get if you crossed a new-born snake with a basketball? A bouncing baby boa.

Doctor, doctor, my baby’s swallowed a watch! Give it some Epsom Salts: that should help it pass the time.

Mum, is it true my baby sister came from Heaven? Yes, that’s right. Well, I don’t blame God for chucking her out.

What was the policeman’s baby’s first words ?Hallo, Hallo, Hallo !

Did you hear about the witch who had the ugliest baby in the world? She didn’t push the pram – she pulled it.

What does a baby computer call his father?Data.

Knock knock. Who’s there? Baby Owl. Baby Owl who? Baby Owl see you later, baby not.

How can you tell if a snake is a baby snake? It has a rattle.