Funny Aviation jokes - Page 8

Aviation jokes

An airline pilot wrote that on…

20 Jul , 2009  

An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a “Thanks for flying XYZ airline.” He said that in light of his […]

Aviation jokes

Tower: Have you got enough fue…

20 Jul , 2009  

Tower: Have you got enough fuel or not?Pilot: Yes. Tower: Yes what??Pilot: Yes, SIR!

Aviation jokes

An airliner was having engine …

20 Jul , 2009  

An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing.A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready.”All set back here, Captain,” came the reply, “except the lawyers are still […]

Aviation jokes

A young lady was conducting a …

20 Jul , 2009  

A young lady was conducting a study in to human sexual behavior. She came to the conclusion that the best place to find participants for the survey would be the airport. After three hours of questioning passengers, she sees a pilot walking to his gate. Having heard of the reputation of pilots she stops him […]

Aviation jokes

A man named Mr. Smith was flyi…

20 Jul , 2009  

A man named Mr. Smith was flying from San Francisco to LA. Unexpectedly the plane stopped in Sacramento along the way. The flight attendant explained that there would be a delay, and if the passengers wanted to get off the aircraft, the plane would re-board in 30 minutes. Everybody got off the plane except one […]

Aviation jokes

After a real crusher of a land…

20 Jul , 2009  

After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the Flight Attendant came on with, “Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt up against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we’ll […]

Aviation jokes

LH741: Tower, give me a rough …

20 Jul , 2009  

LH741: Tower, give me a rough time check Tower: It’s Thursday, Sir.

Aviation jokes

A man jumps out of an airplane…

20 Jul , 2009  

A man jumps out of an airplane with a parachute on his back. As he’s falling, he realizes hiss chute is broken. He doesn’t know anything about parachutes, but as the earth rapidly approaches, he realizes his options are limited; he takes off the parachute and tries to fix it himself on the way down. […]

Aviation jokes

The Captain was Jewish, and th…

20 Jul , 2009  

The Captain was Jewish, and the new First Officer was Chinese. It was the first time they had flown together, and it was obvious by the silence that they didn’t get along.After 30 minutes, the Captain finally spoke. He said, ” I don’t like Chinese. “The F.O. replied, ” Ooooh, no like Chinese? Why is […]

Aviation jokes

Fred and his wife Edna went to…

20 Jul , 2009  

Fred and his wife Edna went to the state fair every year. Every year Fred would say, “Edna, I’d like to ride in that there airplane.” And every year Edna would say, “I know Fred, but that airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars.” One year Fred and Edna went to […]

Aviation jokes

After the first takeoff of the…

20 Jul , 2009  

After the first takeoff of the fully automatic airplane, the passengers heard the soothing, reassuring voice of the pilot: “Ladies and gentlemen, this is your automatic pilot. In my modern and carefully tested sytem an error is absolutely impossible, absolutely impossible, absolutely impossible, …”

Aviation jokes

Pilot: Tower, there’s a runway…

20 Jul , 2009  

Pilot: Tower, there’s a runway light burning. Tower: I’m sure there must be dozens of lights burning.Pilot: Sorry, I mean it’s smoking.