There were three guys in an airplane. One guy droppeda rock, another dropped a brick, and the last droppeda grenade.When they got back on the ground they were walkingdown the street and they saw a woman crying. Being the gentlemen they are they went up to ask her why she wascrying she said “A rock […]
Pilot says: “Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am going to switch the seat belt sign off. Feel free to move about as you wish, but please stay inside the plane till we land…it’s a bit cold outside, and if you walk on the wings it affects the flight pattern.”
A man walks up to the counter at the airport. “Can I help you?” asks the agent.”I want a round trip ticket,” says the man.”Where to?” asks the agent.”Right back to here.”
A military cargo plane, flying over a populated area, suddenly loses power and starts to nose down. The pilot tries to pull up, but with all their cargo, the plane is too heavy. So he yells to the soldiers in back to throw things out to make the plane lighter. They throw out a pistol. […]
Aunt Bessie loved to visit her nieces and nephews. However, she had relatives all over the country.The problem was that no matter how much she enjoyed seeing them, she hated flying. No matter how safe people told her it was, she was always worried that someone would have a bomb on the plane. She read […]
It was mealtime on a small airline and the flight attendant asked the passenger if he would like dinner.”What are my choices?” he asked.”Yes or No,” she replied.
No flight ever leaves on time unless you are running late and need thedelay to make the flight.If you are running late for a flight, it will depart from the farthestgate within the terminal.If you arrive very early for a flight, it inevitably will be delayed.Flights never leave from Gate #1 at any terminal in […]
United Airlines FA: “Ladies and Gentlemen, as you are all now painfully aware, our Captain has landed in Seattle. From all of us at United Airlines we’d like to thank you for flying with us today and please be very careful as you open the overhead bins as you may be killed by falling luggage […]
How many pilots does it take to change a light bulb?None, it is done by the automatic pilot.
A small two-seater Cessna 152 plane crashed into a cemetery early this afternoon in central Poland. Polish search and rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the evening.
From a Southwest Airlines employee…. “Welcome aboard Southwest Flight XXX to YYY. To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seatbelt, and if you don’t know how to operate one, you probably shouldn’t be out in public unsupervised. In the event of a […]
Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo, Texas, on a particularly windy and bumpy day. During the final approach the Captain was really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant came on the PA and announced, “Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your […]
