An auditor is checking the books of an airline. He is puzzled by the excess use of fuel on a Melbourne to Canberra flight. He rings up the pilot and asks for an explanation.”It was late at night’” says the pilot, “Canberra was covered in fog and I lost my bearings.””I’m sorry,” says the auditor, […]
How many accountants does it take to change a light bulb?”What kind of answer did you have in mind?”Two, one to change the light bulb and one to check that it was done within the given budget.
What does an accountant say when you ask him the time?It’s 9.18 am and 12 seconds; no wait – 13 seconds, no wait – 14 seconds, no wait……
Why did he cross back?So he could charge the client for travel expenses.
An auditor was examining the balance sheet of a mining company that had just bought a sheep station in the Pilbara area of Western Australia. The reason for the purchase was partly for the thousands of acres that the station covered and partly for the thousands of sheep that ranged over those thousands of acres. […]
What’s the definition of an accountant?Someone who solves a problem you didn’t know you had in a way you don’t understand.
The accountant’s prayer: Lord, help me be more relaxed about insignificant details, starting tomorrow at 10.53:16 am, Eastern Daylight Saving Time.
How many auditors does it take to change a light bulb?How many did it take last year?
Mr Evans was the Chief Accountant of a large manufacturing concern. Every day, on arriving at work, he would unlock the top drawer of his desk, peer at something inside, then close and lock the drawer. He had done this for 25 years. The entire staff was intrigued but no-one was game to ask him […]
Two accountants are in a bank, when armed robbers burst in. While several of the robbers take the money from the tellers, others line the customers, including the accountants, up against a wall, and proceed to take their wallets, watches, etc. While this is going on accountant number one jams something in accountant number two’s […]
An accountant visited the Natural History museum. While standing near the dinosaur he said to his neighbor: “This dinosaur is two billion years and ten months old”.”Where did you get this exact information?” “I was here ten months ago, and the guide told me that the dinosaur is two billion years old.”
