What’s the definition of unlikely?A photo-spread in Playboy titled ‘The World’s Top Accountants – Nude!’.
How do you know when an accountant’s on holidays?He doesn’t wear a tie to work and comes in after 8.30.
Wife to husband as they watch their young son playing:”He’s such a sensitive child. Let’s wait until he’s older before we tell him you’re an accountant.”
A tourist, visiting a small town in Israel, came upon a statue dedicated to “The Unknown Soldier”. At the base of the statue, a sign was displayed: “Here lies Seymour Ruthenberg”.The tourist inquired of one of the locals how was it possible an unknown had a name.The resident replied, “As a soldier, that Seymour was […]
A 54-year-old accountant leaves a letter for his wife one evening which read: “Dear Wife, I am 54 years old, and by the time you get this letter I will be at the Grand Hotel with my beautiful and sexy eighteen year old secretary.”When he arrived at the hotel, there was a letter waiting for […]
What’s an accountant’s idea of trashing his hotel room?Refusing to fill out the guest comment card.
“The auditors have just left, sir.””Did they check the books?””Very thoroughly.””What did they say?””They want 15% to keep quiet.”
Q: How many Accountants does it take to change a light bulb? A: What sort of answer did you have in mind ?A: None-just assume it’s changed.
Two accountants are in a bank, when armed robbers burst in. While several of the robbers take the money from the tellers, others line the customers, including the accountants, up against a wall, and proceed to take their wallets, watches, etc. While this is going on accountant number one jams something in accountant number two’s […]
An accountant visited the Natural History museum. While standing near the dinosaur he said to his neighbor: “This dinosaur is two billion years and ten months old”.”Where did you get this exact information?” “I was here ten months ago, and the guide told me that the dinosaur is two billion years old.”
