How do you know when an accountant’s on holidays?He doesn’t wear a tie to work and comes in after 8.30.
Wife to husband as they watch their young son playing:”He’s such a sensitive child. Let’s wait until he’s older before we tell him you’re an accountant.”
A tourist, visiting a small town in Israel, came upon a statue dedicated to “The Unknown Soldier”. At the base of the statue, a sign was displayed: “Here lies Seymour Ruthenberg”.The tourist inquired of one of the locals how was it possible an unknown had a name.The resident replied, “As a soldier, that Seymour was […]
A 54-year-old accountant leaves a letter for his wife one evening which read: “Dear Wife, I am 54 years old, and by the time you get this letter I will be at the Grand Hotel with my beautiful and sexy eighteen year old secretary.”When he arrived at the hotel, there was a letter waiting for […]
What’s an accountant’s idea of trashing his hotel room?Refusing to fill out the guest comment card.
“The auditors have just left, sir.””Did they check the books?””Very thoroughly.””What did they say?””They want 15% to keep quiet.”
Q: How many Accountants does it take to change a light bulb? A: What sort of answer did you have in mind ?A: None-just assume it’s changed.
A business owner tells her friend that she is desperately searching for an accountant.Her friend asks, “Didn’t your company hire an accountant a short while ago?”The business owner replies, “That’s the accountant I’ve been searching for.”
How do you drive an accountant completely insane?Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him and fold up a road map the wrong way.
The doctor comes to see his heart transplant patient.”This is good news. It is very unusual, but we have two donors to choose from for your new heart.”The patient is pleased. He asks, “What were their jobs?””One was a teacher and the other was an accountant.””I’ll take the accountant’s heart,” says the patient. “I want […]
