How many accountants does it take to change a light bulb?”What kind of answer did you have in mind?”Two, one to change the light bulb and one to check that it was done within the given budget.

What does an accountant say when you ask him the time?It’s 9.18 am and 12 seconds; no wait – 13 seconds, no wait – 14 seconds, no wait……

Why did he cross back?So he could charge the client for travel expenses.

An auditor was examining the balance sheet of a mining company that had just bought a sheep station in the Pilbara area of Western Australia. The reason for the purchase was partly for the thousands of acres that the station covered and partly for the thousands of sheep that ranged over those thousands of acres. […]

What’s the definition of an accountant?Someone who solves a problem you didn’t know you had in a way you don’t understand.

The accountant’s prayer: Lord, help me be more relaxed about insignificant details, starting tomorrow at 10.53:16 am, Eastern Daylight Saving Time.

How many auditors does it take to change a light bulb?How many did it take last year?

Mr Evans was the Chief Accountant of a large manufacturing concern. Every day, on arriving at work, he would unlock the top drawer of his desk, peer at something inside, then close and lock the drawer. He had done this for 25 years. The entire staff was intrigued but no-one was game to ask him […]

What’s the definition of a good tax accountant?Someone who has a loophole named after him.

Conversation between two accountants at a cocktail party:”…….and ninthly…”

How many cost accountants does it take to change a light bulb?Hmmm……..I’ll just do a few numbers and get back to you

A business man was interviewing applicants for the position of divisional manager. He devised a simple test to select the most suitable person for the job. He asked each applicant the question, “What is two and two?”The first interviewee was a journalist. His answer was “Twenty-two.”The second was a social worker. She said, “I don’t […]