Why accountants don’t read novels?Because the only numbers in them are page numbers.

What’s an extroverted accountant?One who looks at your shoes while he’s talking to you instead of his own.

When do accountants laugh out loud?When somebody asks for a raise

The accountant had just read the story of Cinderella to his four-year-old daughter for the first time. The little girl was fascinated by the story, especially the part where the pumpkin turns into a golden coach. Suddenly she piped up, “Daddy, when the pumpkin turned into a golden coach, would that be classed as income […]

A young accountant, straight out of uni, applies for a job advertised in the Sydney Morning Herald. He is interviewed by the owner of a small business who has built it up from scratch.”I need someone with an accounting degree,” says the man, “but mainly I’m looking for someone to do my worrying for me.””How […]

A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, “Want to hear an accountant joke?”The guy next to him replies, “Well, before you tell that joke, you should know that I’m 6 feet tall, 200 pounds, and I’m an accountant. And the guy sitting next to me is 6’2” […]

What do you call an accountant who is seen talking to someone?Popular

Why do accountants get excited on Saturdays?They can wear casual clothes to work

Accountant after reading nursery rhymes to his young child:”No, son. When Little Bo Peep lost her sheep that wouldn’t be tax deductible, but I like your thinking”.

The young accounting graduate, fresh out of uni and knowing everything, applied for his first job. The prospective employer asked him what starting salary he was looking for.”Oh, around $100,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.””Well, how does this sound? Five weeks annual leave, 22.5% superannuation, paid expenses to overseas conferences every year, home […]

If an accountant’s wife cannot sleep, what does she say?”Darling, could you tell me about your work.”

What’s the definition of unlikely?A photo-spread in Playboy titled ‘The World’s Top Accountants – Nude!’.