What is a runner’s favourite subject in school?Jog-raphy!

Why does someone who runs marathons make a good student?Because education pays off in the long run!

How does a physicist exercise?By pumping ion!

What’s tennis players favourite city?Volley wood!

How do you stop squirrels playing football in the garden?Hide the ball, it drives them nuts!

What is a goal keepers favourite snack?Beans on post!

Why is it that birds are quickly sold when they come up on the transfer market?They tend to go cheep!

Ref: I’m sending you off Player: What for?Ref: The rest of the match!

When fish play football, who is the captain?The team’s kipper!

Where do spiders play their FA Cup final?Webley stadium!

Why aren’t football stadiums built in outer space?Because there is no atmosphere!

If you have a referee in football, what do you have in bowls?Cornflakes!