“Mah son’s real smart!” crowed the redneck mother to an acquaintance. “He’s only six but he can already spell his name backwards and forwards!” “What’s his name?” asked the friend. “Bob.”
Interviewer: How do you spell Mississippi? Redneck: Which one? The river or the state?
A Hoosier, a Kentuckian and a West Virginian were on a Hollywood TV quiz show. The host asked them to complete the sentence: “Old MacDonald had a …” The Indianan said, “Old MacDonald had a carburetor.” “Sorry,” said the MC. “That’s incorrect.” “Old MacDonald had a flat tire,” said the Kentuckian. “Wrong,” said the host. […]
Early Texas governors were not very well educated. There was once a chief executive who thought “grammar” was his father’s mother. On one occasion this governor went hunting and forgot his gun. He phoned his secretary and asked him to send the gun.”The phone connection’s bad,” said the secretary. “I couldn’t catch that last word. […]
“I gotta ‘A’ in spelling,” Tony told his father. “You dope!” he replied. “There isn’t any ‘A’ in ‘spelling’!”
Daughter: I will never learn to spell.Mother: Why?Daughter: The teacher keeps changing the words.
Bob and Tom both like to golf. One day Bob went to Tom and said, “Hey look at this great ball!” Tom replied, “What’s so great about it?” Bob said, “Well if you lose it, it will beep until you find it, and if it goes into the water it will float. This ball is […]
Q: What did the football say to the football player?A: I get a kick out of you.
Q: What’s the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?A: A bad golfer goes, WHACK! “Damn.” A bad skydiver goes, “Damn.” WHACK!
Did you hear about the underwater snooker player?He was a pool shark!
How many Man U. fans does it take to change a lightbulb?One to change the lightbulb, and one to drive down to Kent to pick him/her up.
Q: What’s the difference between David Beckham and an airplane model kit? A: One’s a glueless kit and the other’s a clueless git!
