A man with a talking parrot is getting married. On the day of the wedding he says to the parrot “Now look here, I know you are always sat in that window sticking your beak in, when me and my new wife get back from the wedding I want you to turn round and and […]
A boy frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and his Personal Psychic Advisor tells him: “You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you.”The frog is thrilled, “This is great! Will I meet her at a party?””No,” says his Advisor, “in her biology class.”
A biologist was interested in studying how far bullfrogs can jump. He brought a bullfrog into his laboratory, set it down, and commanded, “Jump, frog, jump!”The frog jumped across the room.The biologist measured the distance, then noted in his journal, “Frog with four legs jumped eight feet.”Then he cut the frog’s front legs off. Again […]
How do you eat a DNA spaghetti?With a replication fork (you can also use your zinc fingers…)
A boy was assigned a paper on childbirth and asked his mother, “How was I born?””Well honey…” said the slightly prudish mother, “the stork brought you to us.””Oh,” said the boy, “and how did you and daddy get born?””Oh, the stork brought us too.””Well how were grandpa and grandma born?” the boy persisted.”Well darling, the […]
Two biologists are in the field following the tracks of a radio-collared grizzly bear. All of a sudden, the bear crashes out of the brush and heads right for them. They scramble up the nearest tree, but the bear starts climbing up the tree after them. The first biologist starts taking off his heavy leather […]
My dog is a nuisance. He chases everyone on a bicycle. What can I do? Take his bike away.
Did you hear about the vampire bicycle that went round biting people’s arms off? It was a vicious cycle.
“Lie flat on your backs, class, and circle your feet in the air as if you were riding your bikes,” said the gym teacher. “Fred! What are you doing? Move your feet, boy.” “I’m freewheeling, sir.”
While crossing the US-Mexican border on his bicycle, the man was stopped by a guard who pointed to two sacks the man had on his shoulders. “What’s in the bags?”, asked the guard.”Sand,” said the cyclist.”Get them off – we’ll take a look,” said the guard. The Cyclist did as he was told, emptied the […]
Father: Why did you put a toad in your sister’s bed? Son: I couldn’t find a spider.
