A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. “You all have obsessions,” he observed.To the first mother he said, “You are obsessed with eating. You even named your daughter Candy.”He turned to the second mom. “Your obsession is money. Again, it manifests itself in your child’s name, […]
Psychiatrist to Internal Revenue agent on couch: “Nonsense! No way does everyone in the world hate you — everyone in the US perhaps, but certainly not everyone in the world.”
Men are like bike helmets. They are handy in an emergency, but otherwise they just look silly.
Men are like mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
Men are like placemats. They only show up when there’s food on the table.
A man is dining in a fancy restaurant, and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He had been checking her out since he sat down, but lacked the nerve to talk with her. Suddenly she sneezes and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively […]
It’s not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.
Four married guys go golfing on Sunday. During the 3rd hole the following conversation ensued: First Guy: “Man, you have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out golfing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend.” Second Guy: […]
A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft the skin from her body, so the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that the doctor found suitable would have to […]
A guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting.’What’s up?’ he says.’I’m having a heart attack,’ cries the woman.He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he’s dialling. his four-year-old son comes up […]
