Three old ladies met on the street on a very stormy day. The wind was so strong and loud that they had difficulty in hearing each other. “It’s windy,” said one. “No, it’s Thursday,” said the next. “So am I,” said the third. “Let’s go and have a drink!”
An elderly lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her car. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at them at the top of her voice, “I have a gun and I know how to use it! Get […]
Q: Why did the old lady put wheels on her rocking chair?A: She wanted to rock and roll
Q: What is the difference between a saxophone and a chainsaw?A: It’s all in the grip.
Q: Two musicians are walking down the street, and one says to the other, “Who was that piccolo I saw you with last night?” A: The other replies, “That was no piccolo, that was my fife.”
Q: What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won’t blow away?A: Root position cords.
Q: What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?A: A flat minor.
Q: How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: It’s not a bulb, it’s a globe.
Q: How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
Q: How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: 100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say “I could’ve done that.”
How many film directors does it take to change a light bulb?Just one, but he wants to do it thirty-two times and when he’s done, everyone says that his last light bulb was much better.
