“What flavors of ice cream do you have?” inquired the customer.”Vanilla, strawberry, and chocolate,” answered the new waitress in a hoarse whisper.Trying to be sympathetic, the customer asked, “Do you have laryngitis?” “No….” replied the new waitress with some effort, “just…erm…. vanilla, strawberry, and chocolate.”
Two men were in a restaurant and ordered fish. The waiter brought a dish with two fish, one larger than the other. One of the men said to the other, “Please help yourself.” The other one said “Okay”, and helped himself to the larger fish. After a tense silence, the first one said, “really, now, […]
Three couples are dining together.The American husband says to his wife: “Pass me the honey, Honey”.The English husband says to his wife: “Pass me the sugar, Sugar”.The [you name it] husband says to his wife: “Pass me the steak, Dumb cow”.
A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the manager shouts, “Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn’t pay for your sandwich!”The panda yells back […]
A Jewish guy called Jacob finds himself in dire trouble. His business has gone bust and he’s in serious financial trouble. He’s so desperate that he decides to ask God for help. He goes into the synagogue and begins to pray”God, please help me, I’ve lost my business and if I don’t get some money, […]
A priest was called away for an emergency. Not wanting to leave the confessional unattended, he called his rabbi friend from across the street and asked him to cover for him.The rabbi told him he wouldn’t know what to say, but the priest told him to come on over and he’d stay with him for […]
Old Mrs. Watkins awoke one spring morning to find that the river had flooded the entire first floor of her house. Looking out of her window, she saw that the water was still rising.Two men passing by on a rowboat shouted up an invitation to row to safety with them. “No, thank you,” Mrs. Watkins […]
A little girl spoke to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it is a very large mammal, its throat is very small. The little girl said, “But how can that be? Jonah was swallowed by a whale.” Irritated, the teacher […]
A local priest and pastor stood by the side of the road holding up a sign that said, “The End is Near! Turn yourself around now before it’s too late!” They planned to hold up the sign to each passing car. “Leave us alone you religious nuts!” yelled the first driver as he sped by. […]
Did you hear about the pub owner who raised a baby rabbit?It was an inn-grown hare!
Did you hear about the egg laden rabbit who jumps off bridges?He’s the Easter Bungee!
Did you hear about the rabbit who got a job in a watch factory? Alike did was stand around making faces.
