How does a vampire enter his house? Through the bat flap.

How do you join a Vampire Fan Club? Send your name, address and blood group.

What’s a vampire’s favorite hobby? In-grave-ing.

Why was the vampire thought of as simple-minded?Because he was a complete sucker.

What do you call a vampire after it is one-year-old? A two-year-old vampire.

Why did the vampire have pedestrian eyes? They looked both ways before they crossed.

Two men were having a drink together. One said, “I’d rather live with a vampire than with my wife.” “Why’s that?” asked the other. “Because she’s always trying to bite my head off,” he replied.

Did you hear about the vampire who got married? He proposed to his girl-fiend.

Did you hear about the vampire who died of a broken heart?He had loved in vein.

Why do vampires hate arguments? Because they make themselves cross.

What is a vampire’s favorite sport? Batminton.

What do you call a vampire junkie? Count Drugula.